Tag: poetry

I wish

I wish I was a no one, a nobody,
With nothing holding me back, nothing holding me down,
Nothing stopping me from escaping, from choosing to leave,
From being who I want to be,
From loving, from living, from dying.
I wish I could clear my slate, erase my life,
start over, end it,
Be okay.
I wish I could forget, escape, restart,
Stop.
I wish I didn’t have to.

Let me be a little selfish.

Death never hurts the dead. Only the living suffer. And escape is forbidden. Suffer so the others won’t. Suffer so they aren’t alone. We sin together and we struggle together. And when it all starts to seem like too much, we begin to wonder whether it is worth the pain to be so selfless.

Strip

​Strip me of my clothes, of my skin, of my soul.
Strip me of my eyes, of my body, of my mind.
And I will be me, I will be you, I will be the world;
Naked and empty and nothing.

Because I am all that matters and all that doesn’t,
I am everything within me and everything beyond.
Because I am so much a part of the universe as I am myself;
Naked and empty and nothing.

I am the sun, the moon, and space.
I am a planet, a star, a galaxy.
I am infinite, unfathomable, absolute.
I am alive, dying, and dead.

But I am.
And that is something.

Nothing

Emptiness suffocates me.
All these feelings of nothing are so overwhelming and I can’t breathe.

I have nothing to complain about.
Nothing.
But everything bothers me.
Nothing weighs down on me waiting to be lifted,
And that nothing suffocates me.
Nothing kills me.
Nothing makes me feel
like everything is pointless.
There’s nothing to be happy about.
Or sad. Or anything at all, really.
What are feelings?
I seem to have none.
Nothing’s the problem.
Cannot breathe,
Cannot think,
Cannot explain.Nothing to explain really.

Everything is okay.

Let me begin with the letter ‘Y’

Let me begin with the letter ‘Y’
As in ‘you’ :
because you were so very important.
As in ‘yes’ :
because that seemed to always be my answer.
As in ‘yearn’ :
because of things I didn’t let myself have.
As in ‘years’ :
because I wasted them on you.
And as in ‘why’
because I had to ask so often, I lost the answers.

Why not the letter ‘I’?
As in ‘idiot’ :
because, unfortunately, I was.
As in ‘ignorant’ :
because I’d let myself be.
As in ‘ignored’ :
because, despite everything, I had been.
As in ‘important’ :
because I realised too late that I am.
And as in ‘me’ :
because maybe, sometimes, I should put myself first.

Maybe, sometimes, I should begin with the letter ‘I’.

Cravings

​I crave being alive.
I crave happiness. sadness. fearlessness.
I crave to be understood. to be heard. to be listened to.
I crave to understand. to listen. to be spoken to.

I crave love.
I crave the sun. the stars. the moon.
I crave to feel. to want. to desire.
I crave to be felt. to be wanted. to be desired.

I crave to be enough.
for myself. for me. for me. for me.
I crave to exist.

Good Enough.

I don’t feel good enough

You’re breathing
and you exist,
and that is good enough.

You wake up
and you exist,
and that is good enough.

You survive
and you exist,
and that is good enough.

You’re alive
and you exist,
and that is good enough.

And maybe sometimes,
you don’t feel like you’re good enough.
But you go on,
and you breathe,
and you wake up,
and you survive,
and you’re alive,
and you exist,
and that is good enough.

You are good enough.

Greyscale

We are human.

We are the grey.
The unknown.
The in between.

Black and white.
Both. Neither.
Grey.
Silver. Smoke. Soot.
Coal. Ash. Dust.
Colourless.

Good and bad.
Both. neither.
Incomplete. Whole.
Simple. Complex.
Unseen. Obvious.
Opinion. Not fact.

A spectrum. Open to exploration.
A million shades of grey.
We are one and the same.

Different. In the same ways.
The same. In different ways.
Unique. Human.

We are the grey.
The unknown.
The in between.

The ones that judge.
Undeserving of judgement.
Nothing to judge.

Life- undefined.
Death- uncharted.
We are life, death, nothing.

We are the grey.
The unknown.
The in between.

We are human